Last night I read aloud to Tiger Annie Proulx’s shortstory, “Brokeback Mountain,” on which the movie is based. I wasn’t sure what Tiger would think about it – she didn’t really have any interest in seeing the movie beforehand, and I don’t know if she’s any more interested in seeing it now that she’s heard the story – but she was in tears by the time I finished reading.
The story is profoundly moving, whatever you might think about the forbidden love that it details. It speaks to the loneliness and emptiness that you sometimes feel, even in the company of the one you’re the closest to. It contrasts Ennis’s decision to pass up a life that he desperately wants – a decision initially borne of his sense of duty to each man’s wife and children as much as from his fear for his and Jack’s safety – with Jack’s feeling that some things simply have to be worth the risk and hurt that they seem certain to bring on. And it speaks to the (perhaps inevitable) tragedy and regrets that result from Ennis’s decision.
Tiger and I spoke for some time after I finished the story. We agreed that one of the amazing things about it is that it takes characters that are in so many ways unsympathetic and makes you yearn for them to find some degree of happiness or satisfaction, then breaks your heart with the reality that that kind of completion simply wasn’t meant to be. We disagreed, however, with which character ended up being the most sympathetic. She related to Jack, who showed his willingness to risk everything if it meant being with the person he loved, only to have his dreams shut down by Ennis. I, on the other hand, related to Ennis, who sorely wished that things could work out differently, but felt that the circumstances and realities of their situation would never allow them to be together and happy.
Today I purchased the movie’s soundtrack off of iTunes, and as I’ve been working in the office today, I’ve listened to “The Maker Makes,” by Rufus Wainwright, several times. Its melancholy tone captures almost perfectly the feelings of any person who has ever felt themselves to be the butt of one of God’s jokes because of a love discovered, then found to be unattainable. These are the lyrics:
“One more chain I break
To get me closer to you.
One more chain does the Maker make
To keep me from bustin’ through.
One more notch I scratch
To keep me thinkin’ of you.
One more notch does the Maker make
Upon my face so blue.
Get along, little doggies...
Get along, little doggies...
One more smile I fake,
And try my best to be glad.
One more smile does the Maker make
Because he knows I’m sad.
Oh Lord, how I know...
Oh Lord, how I see...
That only can the Maker make
A happy man of me.
Get along, little doggies...
Get along, little doggies...
Get along.”
Pick a question and answer in the comments… Have you seen Brokeback Mountain? If so, what did you expect and what was your reaction? If not, is there any reason in particular that you don’t want to? Have you ever passed up the possibility of being with someone you loved because you just didn’t see how it could work? Have you ever pursued the possibility of love, but later come to regret it? Have you ever felt like the words in that song?
