Lyrics That Rip My Heart Out

Most anyone who knows me understands that music affects me profoundly. Nothing else cuts so thoroughly through anything else going on in my heart or mind. And, of course, some songs hit me much harder than others. "Kill" by Jimmy Eat World is one of those. In the lyrics the singer is trying to express to his girlfriend the feelings he's having about the impending end of their relationship. He struggles with the question of whether they are meant to be together, or whether their love was just a product of chance. He agonizes over whether the time they spent together will amount to nothing. He knows that he has to end it, but he doesn't know how. Then comes the bridge and final chorus:

So go on, love.
Leave while there's still hope for escape.
You gotta take what you can these days,
There's so much ahead...
So much regret.

I know what you want to say.
I know it, but can't help feeling differently.
I loved you... and I should've said it.
But, tell me, just what has it ever meant?

I can't help it, baby - this is who I am.
Sorry, but I can't just go turn off how I feel.
You kill me, you build me up - but just to watch me break.
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away.


I remember being there. Knowing that I was part of the problem, but feeling utterly incapable of either changing how I was handling the situation or walking away from it all. This song totally captures that feeling.